Sheena Easton

December 3, 2025

A friend of Lou’s recently saw Sheena Easton perform in a 200-seat venue in Annapolis, Maryland. Apparently, tickets were still available the day of the show. For an immensely talented and successful artist like Easton, this must be like finding her LPs in the two-dollar bin. Yet that is where Lou found her Greatest Hits strutting in the gutter. Her self-titled US debut could be had for ten dollars. But the 45-single of “Sugar Walls”with “Straight Talking” on the B-side was up on the illustrious wall of vinyl. Like lobster, it was listed as market price and for “Sugar Walls” that amount is priceless. Strictly not for sale. The 45 is there to be looked at with awe and admiration like a Greek goddess. Avert your eyes because you do not want to turn to stone. Or something like that. Subtlety is Lou’s specialty.

Lou’s friend told Lou to watch Easton perform “Almost Over You” on The Tonight Show in 1984. Joan Rivers was subbing in for Johnny. But you know Johnny was there when Sheena came back three years later to perform “Strut”. Johnny wouldn’t miss that. And neither would Lou. Lou’s friend accused Lou of being numb to a ballad and deaf to Easton’s exquisite voice. Lou likes ballads just fine. That particular one seemed like it was written by an AI cliché machine. Lou much prefers “For Your Eyes Only”, which Lou considers Easton’s masterpiece and quite possibly the greatest Bond theme of the entire franchise. Lou believes that Bond themes should be sung by female artists only, and they should not be full-on rock songs. “Live and Let Die” is not in the spirit of a Bond theme as great as that song may be. “For Your Eyes Only” hits the sweet spot of smooth and seductive and during Lou’s late-night booze-tube views, Lou likes to put the music video for “For Your Eyes Only” with the Bond movie clips in heavy rotation. The song leaves Lou stirred not shaken.

All things considered Lou’s favorite Sheena Easton videos are the commercials she did in the late 1980s/early 1990s for fitness centers. Lou remembers them as being for Bally’s fitness, but apparently Sheena did ads for various fitness facilities all across the country. This was the stuff. Sheena’s transformation from buttoned up singer of ballads as seen in her early album covers and appearances to midriff-baring sex bomb of double entendre (to be honest, not much entendre) is one of the most stunning shifts in the history of rock music. Like Wayne County to Jayne County. Now you can believe that Bally’s Fitness had something to do with this transformation all you want. Sheena’s abs would suggest as much, but Lou knows that it was all Prince’s doing. Just being in the mere presence of Prince makes you instantly sexier. Prince saw Sheena’s potential as a Pygmalion-type thing and remade Sheena in his own image. The song “Sugar Walls” was a Prince workout, but the song even made Prince blush as he used the pseudonym Alexander Nevermind for the writing credits. The song was one of the notorious Filthy Fifteen of Tipper Gore’s PMRC that sought to censor rock lyrics. Prince also made the list with “Darling Nikki” and Vanity’s “Strap On Robbie Baby”. Three strikes you’re out, Prince. Rick James, the ghetto Prince, made it on the list with The Mary Jane Girls’ “In My House”. “Sugar Walls” was a hit, spending 16 weeks on the Billboard Hot 100, getting as high as number nine. Sheena also appeared in the song “U Got the Look” and Sheena vamped it up in “The Lover in Me”and of course the pre-Prince “Strut”. Many of the videos for these songs had the look of the fitness center commercials with elements of Skinamax and heavy doses of Prince juice. “Sugar Walls” did not need to have that look, as it talked the talk.

Sheena is too hot to handle, but for ten dollars you can get a hold of Easton’s self-titled US debut from 1981 on EMI American at Vinyl Vogue. The album was originally released in the UK as Take My Time and it was quite a success. “Morning Train (9 to 5)”, not to be confused with “9 to 5” by Dolly Parton from the movie with the same name, was the big single along with “Modern Girl”. These were adult contemporary standards, before Sheena went fully adult. The album is ok, in that 1984 Tonight Show performance vein. It is all about the voice. This was also true of “For Your Eyes Only”, another hit shortly after the release of her debut. But when Sheena expanded her body of work, with Prince’s help, that was when Sheena appeared all over MTV, on your boob tube, on commercials, videos, and talk shows. Sex sells but there is an expiration date for female performers. Like September 9, 2025, for example, the date of Easton’s show in Annapolis. Male performers can rock stadiums until the day they die. The exceptions prove the rule for female performers. As they mature and get perceived as less sexy, they must perform in more intimate venues. Isn’t it ironic, don ’cha think?