Lou is merely a civilian when it comes to the Scorpions. As far as he is concerned, they are “Rock You Like a Hurricane” and “Winds of Change”. For the members of the Scorpions industry there is 1979’s Lovedrive, considered the high point of their career. There are quite a few bands where the general pop got into a band in the 1980s that was really rocking much earlier. ZZ Top is an example as are Whitesnake. Like many an MTV kid, Lou knew ZZ Top through Eliminator and Afterburner. ZZ Top was a video band with “Legs” and “Sharp Dress Man”, not a live band. The same holds true for Whitesnake. Whitesnake was basically a band that Tawny Kitaen fronted. Lou considered her the most important member. For real. David Coverdale. Who the fuck was he? Deep Purple. Never heard of them even if Lou knew the riff from “Smoke on the Water”.
YouTube dorks have changed all this. This is an instance of where Lou actually agrees with the dorks. Yes, Genesis, and Jethro Tull, no matter what the dorks say still suck, but Lou is on board with earlier Scorpions, ZZ Top, and Whitesnake. Thanks to the YouTubers Lou now owns the Scorpions’ Lovedrive, Virgin Killer, and In Trance; ZZ Top’s Deguello and Fandango!; and Whitesnake’s Live in the Heart of the City. This is a good thing. The fact that he owns Yessongs or Selling England by the Pound not so much. You win some and you lose some.
Vinyl Vogue has a copy of the Scorpions’ Lovedrive, but it is not the copy Lou, or dare he say you, want. This is the sorry copy with the scorpion on it. The desirable copy is the once banned copy that features bubblegum and boobs in the back of a limo on the front cover and some gratuitous nudity on the back. This is the stuff. Lou was lucky enough to grab a copy at the Vogue several months back. Lou was skeptical about doing more than look at the album art, these guys did “Winds of Change”, true schlock, after all, but lo and behold, Lovedrive rocks. A great album as well as great album art. This stuff is in Lou’s wheelhouse.
In fact, the Scorpions had a thing for tasteless album covers. The cover for Virgin Killer might be the all-time nadir in that regard. It makes Smell the Glove seem tame. Virgin Killer is straight out of a Spinal Tap porn parody, where the band members perform a corporate gig on Epstein’s Island. This is the epitome of cringe. The cover for Taken By Force is no better. The cover was prophetic. Bad taste and a bad take given the later school violence at Columbine and Sandy Hook. There really is no place for this shit.
The Scorpions were no strangers to controversy. A recent podcast posited that the Scorpions’ “Winds of Change” was a CIA plant in the Cold War. Yawn. Conspiracy theories like this are old news. Ever since the founding of the CIA after WWII, it has been suggested that The Firm meddled in art and literature to further the cause of the American Century. In literature, CIA funding of the Paris Review and Encounter has been proven to be true. A bit more speculative, but no less true, is the role of the CIA in the rise of Abstract Expressionism as the dominate form of art in the post-WWII era. The book How New York Stole the Idea of Modern Art by Serge Guilbaut, published in the mid-1980s, is a good place to start if you are interested.
The influence of the CIA on music is nothing new either. Lou recommends Weird Scenes Inside the Canyon: Laurel Canyon, Covert Ops & the Dark Heart of the Hippie Dream by David McGowan, which argues that counterculture music in LA was in a part a CIA creation. Psst!! Jim Morrison’s dad was involved in the Gulf of Tomkin. What more proof do you need? This all might be bullshit but there is no doubt that the CIA was instrumental in the creation of the psychedelic revolution of the 1960s. MK Ultra proves that. That is the thing about conspiracy theories, they are like this friend of Lou’s who is always talking shit and making elaborate claims. They can’t be true, and you know it is the beer talking but then you get on your phone and do a little Googling, and wouldn’t you know it there is some truth there. The fucker did go to high school with Angelina Jolie. Lou doubts they ever made out in the back of a Delta 88, but it is remotely plausible. Plus, conspiracy theories are fun. Guilbaut and McGowan may be full of crap to some extent but they are fun reads. Highly recommended.
If the Scorpions were not agents of the CIA, they were soldiers in the War on Drugs. This is fact. In 1982, Doc McGhee, a music manager who worked with KISS, Bon Jovi, Mötley Crüe and others, got busted with twenty tons of pot with intent to import. In a plea deal to avoid jail time, McGhee agreed to 3,000 hours of community service through his Make a Difference Foundation, a non-profit deterring youth drug use. On August 12-13, 1989, McGhee helped organize the Moscow Music Peace Festival, an anti-drug concert in the Soviet Union. All of McGhee’s bands were on the bill: the bands mentioned above as well as Skid Row, Scorpions, Ozzy Osbourne, and Cinderella. By all accounts, there were more drugs on the plane over to the USSR than were in the entire country. Ozzy was out of control as were most of the bands. Mötley Crüe were the only ones sober. Go figure. Also, by all accounts, the Scorpions were the most well-known and popular band in the USSR, largely because they were a German band that was had crossed over the border. Now, Lou does not know if the concert made a dent in the Soviet drug problem, but Lou passionately believesthat the concert led to the fall of communism. This was the Soviet Woodstock. It wasn’t Reagan’s massive military spending and the Soviets trying to keep up with Star Wars. No, it was the general pop of the Eastern Bloc getting an up close and personal taste of sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll and knowing that it is good. The fall of communism came months later. This is no coincidence.
So come to Vinyl Vogue and pick up a copy of the Scorpions’ Lovedrive. This particular copy definitely has the rock ‘n’ roll and might even have the drugs, but the cover is lacking in the sex department. As Meat Loaf said, two out of three ain’t bad. Meat Loaf should have played in Moscow in order to introduce the Soviets to processed cheese.
Suggested Sites and Sounds:
Most Controversial Album Covers of All Time: The 13 most controversial album covers of all time, from The Beatles to Nirvana | The Independent
Abstract Expressionism and the CIA: Was modern art a weapon of the CIA?
Laurel Canyon and the CIA: Was 1960's Laurel Canyon a CIA PSYOP? - by Jared Smith
The Scorpions and the CIA: Wind of Change - Podcast - Apple Podcasts
Anti-Drugs??: Moscow Music Peace Festival (1989)- Aftershow MTV News Segment (part 1 of 3) Mission Moscow
Moscow Peace Festival: Moscow Music Peace Festival 1989
— Lou Waxman