Jimmy Buffett Songs You Know By Heart

Lou may have mentioned before in a previous post (Lou is presently hungover and cannot muster the energy to look it up), there are certain musicians and bands where you only need the greatest hits.  Jimmy Buffett ranks high in that category.  The Vogue had a bunch of Buffett albums and Lou almost bought Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes, until he saw Songs You Know By Heart, a Buffett greatest hits comp.  Like the weather in the Caribbean, this was perfect.  

Buffett is an artist who captures a vibe, brings out the memories.  At Lou’s first job out of college, there were two dedicated Parrotheads that Lou worked with.  Lou distinctly remembers there being a Buffett concert replayed on HBO when he was young.  As Lou recollects, Buffett and his band were on the back of a yacht in a marina performing for a very enthusiastic audience.  Lou will have to look it up later, as Lou said he is hungover and hasn’t had his first beer yet.  That will soon be corrected (It’s 5 o’clock somewhere, right) and he will give the Google a spin.

Every summer Lou’s co-workers bopped around the DMV and caught a concert or two.  Lou never tagged along.  He did party with them on the Fourth of July on the Mall a few times.  Fourth of July on the Mall is one of the great losses resulting from 9-11.  Once upon a time, you could go to the Mall at 6am with a few kegs of beer and set up a bivouac for a day’s partying until the fireworks ended.  Inevitably, Lou would get there at 6am and be passed out for the fireworks.  Good times.

Lou has been to the Caribbean three times in his life and experienced the Buffett habitat.  It is not really Lou’s thing.  That said, Lou would love to spend a month or two in Key West bumming around and being useless.  Someday.  Anyway, stop Lou if you heard this one before but Lou spent a Spring Break in the Bahamas in college.  For the most part, he drank cases of Kalik at $40 a pop.  In present day dollars that is probably something like $100.  If not, it felt like a hundo to Lou at the time.  Vices are expensive.  The high point of the trip may have been watching Greta Garbo in Ninotchka in a hotel bar at 8am all alone while everybody else was sleeping it off.  If not that, then it must be almost getting murdered one night.  It is a long and involved story with many twists and turns and a rather goodpunchline closer.  Think Bert Kreischer’s “The Machine” story before that drunken buffoon became a thing.  Lou is at The Vogue all the time.  Give him a holler and buy him a Narragansett from Black Moon Public House and he will tell you all about it.

The second time Lou dipped his toe in the Caribbean was again a trip to the Bahamas.  This time he had somewhat better accommodations.  Possibly a Radisson.  It was definitely next door to Atlantis.  Lou could not afford to stay at the Atlantis.  What Lou remembers most about that trip is thinking about Merv Griffin, who was involved in the resort in some way or more specifically thinking about Rick Moranis as Merv on SCTV.  This trip was rather uneventful as all Lou did was drink gallons of Miami Vices.  What is that you ask?  Well, the old brain is fuzzy, but Lou thinks it was frozen pina colada swirled with frozen strawberry margarita.  Whatever it was, it was delicious.  Lou loves a good frozen swirl.  Lou would drink swirl after swirl at Uncle Julio’s in Ballston, Virginia to go with his platter of fajitas and king crab legs.  Lou would order a small glass of Mexican garlic butter for it.  Next thing you know, the bill was over $200 and Lou could not afford it.  Happened constantly.

Lou could also not afford his two-week trip to St. Martin.  The French side only for Lou.  The Dutch side is for smugglers, gamblers, pirates, and scallywags.  Lou went to the French side based off what Lou remembers as a famous 1976 New York Times article by food critic Craig Clairboure, which made the case that the French side, particularly Grand Case, had the best food in the Caribbean.  Lou’s stepfather read that article when it came out and dutifully went down there and swore on his ample belly that it was true.  Lou was sold.

To make matters not worse, but more expensive, Lou stayed a La Samanna, one of the most exclusive resorts in the entire area.  Lou is not going to lie, it was amazing.  The rooms were great, the beaches were great, the drinks were great, the service.  Everything.  But Lou was there for the food.  The wonderful thing about spending an arm and a leg at an exclusive resort is that you get treated like a king.  Each morning you would check in at the front desk and say where you wanted to go out to dinner at night.  They would set everything up including car service.  It was sweet.  Breakfast, lunch, and dinner at La Samanna wereawesome but the other restaurants were the real attraction.

Lou’s stepfather told Lou hundreds of times about the lobster bisque in puffed pastry at La Vie en Rose.  Well, Lou went there on Bastille Day and of course got the best seat in the place on a balcony looking over the town square while the parade and fireworks were on display.  It was a once in a lifetime experience and the lobster bisque was stellar.  Lou went to dozens of restaurants.  He remembers The Fish Pot as being particularly good, but what is really etched in Lou’s tattered memory was a lunch on a beach somewhere, where you sat at a table on said beach and a guy came out of the ocean with a lobster for you and they cooked it for you right there.  Lou suspects there was a cage of lobsters out there in the surf, but the Caribbean, especially the Caribbean of Jimmy Buffett, is all about illusion.

But what Lou is really getting to with all this, is that during that trip to St. Martin, Lou took a ferry to St. Bart’s.  Lou should not have stepped foot on St. Bart’s.  He did not belong there.  If the authorities checked Lou bank account with his passport, he would have been turned away.  Lou got off the ferry and walked up to one of the most exclusive hotels on the island which looked over the harbor, and he got a beer.  One beer.  So, you know it was fucking expensive.  Then he walked back down to the harbor and stepped into Le Select for lunch.  Supposedly, allegedly, this was the inspiration for Buffett’s “Cheeseburger in Paradise”.  Lou got his cheeseburger, which stunk and retreated to La Samanna and probably had another over the top meal of French food.  

It all may not have been something out of Jimmy Buffett.  Buffett’s vibe is more down on your luck at the edge of the world, but Lou thinks of his cheeseburger at St. Bart’s everytime his listens to Jimmy Buffett, which isn’t often.  Like his trips to the Caribbean.  Lou will not be coming back soon.  

Suggested Sites and Sounds:

Jimmy Buffett Live at the Bay:  Jimmy Buffett: Live At The Bay | 1985 Concert | Miami, Florida

Merv on SCTV:  SCTV - Merv Griffin Salutes the 60s - YouTube

How to Make a Miami Vice:  Miami Vice - Tipsy Bartender

Uncle Julio’s:  Why Uncle Julio's is Worth the Trip

Not Craig but it will have to do:  Culinary Capital of the Eastern Caribbean Sea : Tiny St. Martin makes a Grand Case for lovers of gourmet French cuisine. - Los Angeles Times

La Samanna:  Touring the Caribbean’s Most Iconic Luxury Resort | Belmond La Samanna

The Original Cheeseburger in Paradise:  Le Select St Barts: The Casual Caribbean Burger Stand and Bar that Stands the Test of Time - Caribbean Compass